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@ THE ESTABLISHMENT.
My body ached. I had used muscles I didn’t know I had. I had voiced expletives I didn’t know I knew. My jaw had locked in spasm and my arms had grappled for things to cling to, to grip, to scratch. It should have been unadulterated heaven; what every girl yearns for as she sits, caged in by an office desk. But I was wrong.
I am lucky that clothes (and their designers) choose me rather than the other way round. My friends - sadly for me, as well as them - are less fortunate. So, with occasions such as Ascot, Wimbledon, countless polo matches, and giga-yachts to board in St. Tropez and Ibiza approaching faster than a Roddick serve, I found myself inundated with murmurings of “Can I borrow this?”, “Where can I buy that?”, “Could I get away with wearing your...?”. It thus remained that the only considerate thing to do was to offer my expertise and accompany three close friends on a shopping expedition. I thought it would be fun. But someone thought the Titanic was unsinkable.
The solitary plus point - as is always the case with a hellish experience – is that the retrospective stories always make for entertaining tales. And this is why we found ourselves at the end of the day (exhausted, laden down with bags, hat boxes and steaming credit cards) pouring over an array of cocktails and a laughter-filled, delicious supper in The Establishment.
Located in Parsons Green, The Establishment is a restaurant and bar, serving the best of British food and cocktails in a relaxed environment that, through its retro elegance (complete with Ford Cortina Ghia inspired banquette seating, Wayne Hemmingway wallpaper and chocolate colour scheme), pays subtle homage to classic British police dramas and 70’s gangster films such as The Sweeney, Get Carter and Life on Mars.
In keeping with the day, I couldn’t help but opt for the ‘F Word’ cocktail: homemade fig, blackberry and red wine syrup shaken with H by Hine Cognac, dashed with lemon juice and served straight up. My friends indulged in Cosmopolitans and Martinis; I fear they were hankering for an analogy between the four of us and a certain, recently released film.
Considering one friend had managed to put lipstick down a white Chanel jacket, another had had all her cards rejected and the other had jammed a zip on a handbag which was worth more than her mews house, the analogy was a little waning. But at least we were now enjoying pre-dinner cocktails whilst discussing our purchases before moving onto conversations predominantly revolving around men.
The contemporary menu showcases fantastic ingredients sourced from the UK’s finest producers, making what to have as tricky as choosing between Manolo, Louboutin and Choo. We enjoyed an amuse bouche of mini fish and chips with a serving of mushy peas followed by starters of English asparagus with poached bantam egg and hollandaise sauce, and a garden pea and broad bean risotto. All plates were left gleaming. For our main courses we opted for fillet of sea bream with crushed heritage potatoes and braised fennel, a caramelised red onion tart with grilled goats cheese and marinated cherry tomatoes, fried Scottish cod with lentils, smoked paprika sausage and mussels, and veal shoulder with seared West Coast scallops and cauliflower puree. For pudding we attempted to show some restraint and shared a chocolate nemesis with poached cherries and honey ice cream. It was all wonderfully fresh and delicious.
We finished our wine with my friends holding their expanding stomaches. The feast we had just enjoyed certainly did no favours for their ‘I’ll lose a few pounds then it will look perfect’ purchases. One of them had already slipped into a monstrous dress that she had over-ruled me on. Covered shoulder to mid-calf in bright orange and pink swirls she walked to the door, VPL and love handles fully on display. Well, you can lead a horse to water…
BEST BITS.
The staff at The Establishment are all very efficient and attentive whilst remaining extremely friendly, helping create the relaxed atmosphere.
The Establishment’s extensive wine list includes many available by the carafe, glass and even flight, thanks to the state-of-the-art Enomatic preservation system.
If you’re seeking something to remedy the morning-after-the-night-before, The Establishment serves up delicious brunch dishes and traditional Sunday lunches. | |
